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Conversations: Industry
THREE WAYS TO SAY “I DO”
A priest, an architect and a professional walk you down the aisle.
There’s a third party involved in every marriage ceremony. No, not the in-laws who won’t stop rearranging table settings, but the overseer of the entire day’s festivities—the officiant. This is the person who begins the vows with the “Do you, so-and-so, take . . .” and then sends the bride and groom off into the sunset with a simple, “By the power vested in me . . .” And though there are some typical familiarities in most North American wedding ceremonies (cake? again?), these officiants come in many types—from the friend to the priest—and they help lovebirds say “I do” in many styles. Here’s a glimpse of three locals who have helped latch the ball to the chain.
THE FRIEND: Jesse Balaity
“By the power vested in me by the Internet.”
The bride and groom get most of the glory, but the spotlight also falls on the guy with the microphone, so some people opt to have someone close to them participate in the ceremony by officiating. Last year Jesse Balaity, an architect with Sarasota’s Architect Design Planning Group, was notarized via the web so he could marry Rachel, one of his best friends from college, to her fiancé, Scott. Although it was Balaity’s first, and probably his last, ceremony, he says it was an honor to get a front row seat during one of the biggest days in his friend’s life.
Wedding Wardrobe: It was a daytime wedding, so Balaity wore a chocolate brown suit, which matched the bridesmaids’ dresses. Prenuptial Preparation: “We went back and forth writing their vows,” he says, “And right before the wedding, I rehearsed the ceremony about twenty times in front of the mirror—not because I can’t speak, but because I really wanted it to be perfect for her.” Parting Gift: As an officiant and a friend, Balaity bought the couple a massage they could indulge in while on the beach during their St. Croix honeymoon. “They said it was the highlight of their honeymoon.” Up Close and Personal: “It was really an amazing moment to spend two feet away form this amazing friend,” he says. “It’s a different perspective standing there. I really got a good look at their emotions.”
THE CASUAL PRO: Nancy Taussig
“Weddings tailored more than the dress itself.”
As the owner of Barefoot Weddings, Nancy Taussig officiates an average of three weddings each week, and they’re all different. Some are on the beach. Some are at a museum. Some have hundreds of guests. Some are just Taussig, the bride and the groom. Since officiating her first wedding in 1990, Taussig has wed more than 600 couples, and while some have giggled (usually brides) and some have cried (usually grooms), she says each one is special, and she’ll help them say “I do” any way they want.
Wedding Wardrobe: It all depends on the wedding. “I try to match the degree of their formality,” she says. “I usually wear a black skirt and white blouse, but I’ve worn tropical prints if it’s a tropical, beach wedding.” Prenuptial Preparation: “Before the ceremony, the officiant is with the men,” says Taussig, who adds that after so many weddings, she doesn’t get nervous anymore. “I enjoy that, because over in the brides room it’s mass hysteria, but the guys are cracking jokes and we’re pretty relaxed.” Parting Gift: After every ceremony, Taussig gives the couple a “Forget Me Not” heart, which is made of biodegradable fibers and embedded with flower seeds. Once planted, the heart will grow Forget Me Not flowers. Up Close and Personal: “It’s still a thrill,” she says of her duties. “When the bride walks down the aisle, I see the look on the groom’s face—it’s usually awestruck and frequently teary eyed. I think if that ever gets old, it’s time for me to quit.”
THE PRIEST: Father Fred Robinson
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…”
For many weddings, tradition reigns supreme when it comes to picking the officiant. In that case, enter Father Fred Robinson, who is a rector from the Church of The Redeemer. Robinson has a calm, paternal demeanor, and after hundreds of weddings—his first was in Ohio in 1977—he seems to have the ceremony down pat: He only oversees church weddings and either the bride or the groom (or both) must be Episcopalian.
Wedding Wardrobe: Robinson has two variations on his wedding vestments. If the couple chooses to take communion during the ceremony, Robinson wears a long white robe with a long white stoll (that long sash that preachers and priests wear). But if there’s no communion, he dons a black robe with a white overcoat and a white and gold stoll. Prenuptial Preparation: Before the wedding, Robinson gets to know the couple through counseling sessions, where they discuss everything from finances to religion. “We talk about the meaning of love, because love is not an emotion. Love is an act of will.” Parting Gift: Robinson gives every couple a wooden plaque of Jesus performing his first miracle—turning water into wine. Robinson says Jesus performed the famous miracle at a wedding. Up Close and Personal: “It’s always an emotional time,” Robinson says of the ceremony, “because it’s such a great commitment to one another. The excitement is palpable—not only from the bride and the groom, but also from the parents and often the grandparents and close friends.”
By Ricci Shryock. Photos by Luca Guarneri
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