My mom was smart and funny—and the age I am now when she passed in 1993. Her offbeat wit could turn a room of cancer-pulverized strangers—snap—into newfound friends laughing together at a chemo cocktail party. Of all the remembrance cards sent, I saved only one—a small handwritten note from her paperboy, “Sorry about Mizz McCarrell. She was always kind.”

In August, glancing through the Sunday obits, I noticed a tiny photo, a younger smooth-faced version of a woman I knew from the streets—literally.  A Sarasota native and accomplished artist, Kim Yerkes, ate her meals at the Sally, was a regular at the Rez. She sometimes camped on her sailboat, and at other times, too wasted to row, she curled up where she could. A few times I voluntarily funded her 30-day bus pass, but most often she had something for me: a cat food coupon, or 1/2 price off on some amusement advertised in the Boat Trader. Everywhere she went, Kim—always in a dress, her hair in pigtails—pulled a wire handcart stuffed with arts materials on top of which perched a tiny ancient dog. Twice I found her passed out on the street. Kim woke smiling, pleased to see me, always the same bright self her sister described in her obit, “a kind and free spirit who threw caution to the wind to live the life she loved.” 

And then this past Sunday we said goodbye to Tana Sandefur, a woman I had met only once at the party she threw five years ago for her husband John’s memorial. The whole town was there, everyone talking and hugging, telling stories and Tana so gracious, allowing all whatever space they needed to speak of their love and respect and sorrow at her loss. For my small part, I wanted Tana to know my gratitude for what a fine gentleman John Sandefur had been to me no matter our differences over the ever-contentious issue of Sarasota’s future. “Oh,” she said, “We love your letters to the editor. He thought the world of you. Keep writing and if you ever need anything—call me.” 

Tana’s memorial at the Ringling Museum Visitor Center, a building the Sandefur generosity helped to fund, was not dissimilar from Kim’s at the Resurrection House, or my Mom’s in 1993. Friends and family spoke of their love and sorrow. “Amazing Grace” was sung, we prayed and ate together. And these three women shared another most precious commonality. They were always kind—a core trait that neither cancer, nor homelessness, nor the daily ache of a half empty bed could defeat. Is there any excuse for any of us to do, or be less? Well, it’s not too late to learn.

I never called Tana Sandefur, but wish I had, if only to thank her for those five minutes five years ago. So, thank you, Tana. Whenever I start to lose confidence or become confused in my purpose, I remember to do as a great and kind lady once told me: I keep writing. 

SRQ Daily Columnist Diana Hamilton, after living 35 years in Sarasota, labels herself a pragmatic optimist with radical humorist tendencies and a new found resistance to ice cream

Michael Barfield’s intimidation of city government continues unabated.  His mere presence as a passive, looming threat is enough to unnerve those who operate the levers of power. The latest example of his pernicious effect on the body politic was reported by SRQ Daily. 

Let me explain.  On Sept. 29, “leaders,” including three county commissioners, two North Port commissioners and five Venice city council members, gathered for Harvest House’s launch of North County Emergency Family Haven, a short-term housing facility for homeless families. Four of our city commissioners were not among the “leaders.”  Why was that?  The four commissioners “cit[ed] Sunshine Law concerns relating to pending litigation” (the Barfield suit against Commissioner Susan Chapman).

So, once again, out of fear of a potential Barfield stickup, a fear engendered by the City Attorney’s litigation aversion, the commissioners forsook an opportunity to engage with their constituents regarding the city’s hottest issue – homelessness. Why is that?  I submit it is because, despite the fact that the City Attorney has described Barfield’s suit against Commissioner Chapman to be based on an “incorrect interpretation of the law” and being “somewhat ludicrous” (why “somewhat?”), he has opined that city commissioners would be "taking a risk” by attending such public events.

I ask, “If the Chapman suit is ‘ludicrous,’ what is the risk”—that Barfield will launch a baseless lawsuit doomed to failure?  Some risk!

Of course, the commissioners cannot be faulted for their apprehension.  After all, if their legal advisor is risk averse, how can they be expected to ignore his equivocation?  They cannot.  What is required when Barfield is simply perceived as likely to commence a questionable lawsuit is determination by the city’s legal eagle to have the courage of his convictions and recommend contesting it—no holds barred.  Otherwise the city will remain forever vulnerable to paralysis and legal extortion. 

Frank Brenner, Sarasota, responding to the "Family Haven Offers Hope on Challenging Issue" article in the Sept. 30 edition of SRQ Daily

Congratulations to Chris Thorpe, the winner of the SRQ Bal Masque Venetian Mask Contest! SRQ President and CEO, Lisl Liang fell in love with the gorgeous artisan-crafted creation a recent trip to Venizia, Italy while she was roaming the canals near the Rialto bridgeand and brought the authentic carnivale accessory brought back to SRQ for Bal Masque. Chris was thrilled with his win and stopped by the SRQ offices for an impromptu photo shoot commenting,  "I love Italy and have long wanted to attend Carnivale. The combination of colors in this mask is very unusual and the workmanship is incredible.  It is even signed on the inside by the artist.  I look forward to wearing it at the SRQ Bal Masque event this Saturday - it will be the next best thing to actually being in Venice.  George Clooney has nothing on this!”  Don't the magic of Italy at tonight’s SRQ Bal Masque. 

SRQ Bal Masque

Still looking fort something to wear to the SRQ Bal Masque Gala at the Sarasota Opera House tonight?  Head to Saks Fifth Avenue Sarasota to select from a fabulous array of gorgeous gowns and accessories and then pop over to I-Tesori for Venetian artisan-crafted masks.    

http://www.srqbalmasque.com

As the Official Wine Sponsor for tonight's SRQ Bal Masqué event, Bijou Café’s master mixologists will be celebrating with the creation of a special signature cocktail, the “The Bijou Bal Masqué Bellini,” for sale in the Gossip’s Bar on alongside delicious fare from Bijou’s extensive menu. Bijou’s creation will be a twist on the classic Italian Bellini cocktail – a sparkling concoction of pureed peaches and bubbly created in the 1930’s by Giuseppe Cipriani, founder of Harry’s Bar in Venice, Italy. This traditional Italian creation is the perfect way to kick off the Venetian infused evening.  

SRQ Bal Masque

Come join the leaders the four Bal Masqué Gala beneficiaries gathered at the Sarasota Opera House tonight!  Dressed in elegant finery and donning ornate masks, executives from the Child Protection Center, Circus Arts Conservatory, Suncoast Charities for Children and Suncoast Science Center will be at the gala to raise awareness and garner support for the mission to improve the lives of children in our community. A silent auction filled with gorgeous artwork and gift baskets filled with VIP ticket packages and delectable treats will be ongoing throughout the evening to benefit each organization.  

In the spirit of Carnivale, the dynamic Fête team led by Tommy and Jaymie Klauber, have prepared scrumptious delicacies for tonight's gala including  Fête’s Lobster Pizza, Rosemary Rubbed Baby Lamb Chops, Sambucca-Fired Prosciutto Shrimp Skewers and Burratini Shooters and much more.  Après performance sweets, include Galani Fried Carnival Pastries and the mysterious Chocolate Covered Bacon. Tommy Klauber said, "For Bal Masqué, Fete Catering is bringing the flavors modern venetian cuisine to SRQ with a playful mix of dishes that will delight!”