All too often we read stories bringing bad news or stressing the negative side of human behavior. I recently had the great fortune of receiving a story from one of our wonderful volunteer guides for the artwork at Patriot Plaza in the Sarasota National Cemetery. I could not begin to tell it as well as she did. Please enjoy it with me today:

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He looked lost and a bit frail. His plaid shirt tucked into trousers that now were too large and pleated by the belt that was pulled tight. He seemed shy and a bit sad. One of the docents asked if he had a question or needed information. The relief was clear on his face. "I'd just like a picture taken" he said. I quickly volunteered as this older gentleman said "do you know how to use an apple"? I hope I did not chuckle out loud, but asked politely "do you mean an iPhone?" His smile broadened and his shyness seemed to pass for a second. Pointing to the front of the amphitheater he said, "it's over there, are you sure you don't mind?" I eased his mind and offered to walk wherever he wanted to pose. As we slowly walked toward the stage, I learned that he was a corporal in the 101st Airborne in the Korean War. As I thanked him for his service, he asked where the cremated remains were buried in the wall. I changed the direction of our walk realizing he had come to visit someone. "My wife" he said, “in this _____ row”. Assuring him we could find it we walked along chatting. At 83 and coming from Bonita Springs, he said it was difficult to get rides clear to Sarasota National Cemetery. He had visited once before, but this was all new to him. There had not been a marker at her site the last time he was here. He said he only comes for special occasions. Today was her birthday and two days prior was their 58th wedding anniversary. As we talked his emotion was evident. "I'm sorry,”  he said. “This is new to me and still fresh. We had no children, just the two of us. I miss her so." Placing my arm around him, I said she must have been very special and you were both so lucky to have shared a love for 58 years. We walked arm in arm looking for her site. His anxiousness was palpable. "Don't worry," I said. "We'll find her."

"She had dementia,” he said. “That was so hard. Sometimes she didn't know me, but mostly she did." I saw her name and we stopped. Here she is, would you like that photograph now?

Handing me his gold (no cover) iPhone wrapped neatly in a white linen handkerchief, he said "I don't know how to work this, it's new." Carefully unwrapping it, I asked him to unlock it but he quickly gave me the number because he did not know how. As I opened the camera, he wiped a tear and stood beside her name and gently pointed to it while looking tenderly at the granite slab. Taking a few shots, I then took a close up of the marker. I showed him the photos and he was happy for a moment. "So much better than I could have done" he said. He talked a bit about how hard it was to leave her not knowing when he could return. I put my arm around his shoulders and asked quietly, "Would it be ok if I visit her when I come out? I promise to let her know you are thinking of her." The tears were now flowing down both of our faces. "I'd like that" he said. We hugged and I   promised to visit her every time I am here. I could see him relax a bit. He thanked me, and I suggested he try to do something for her birthday today that would have made her happy. We shared one more hug and I thought, "Thank you sir for allowing me to share this tender moment with you.”

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All of our thanks goes to this dedicated volunteer and her colleges at Patriot Plaza who share their gifts with the families and friends of those who have served in our military and in many cases made the ultimate sacrifice for their country and our freedom.

Jim Shirley is the executive director for the Arts and Cultural Alliance of Sarasota County.